(The following is not for the squeamish)
How is that even possible?
David had a bout of explosive poop. It must of been the power of the explosion that sent the poop into his pockets. I knew we were in trouble when I went to change his diaper and there was poop on his feet. His bare feet. Between the toes. I knew we were in trouble when he decided to get up and run around with his body still messy, with me chasing behind him with a washcloth and baby wipes.
No! David! Not. On. The. COUCH!
Thank goodness my couch is brown.
My husband came home as I had David in the bath. There were pants with poop in the pockets in my powder room sink. The living room smelled like ass. My clothes were lying in a pile in the kitchen. My husband tried to help.
By cleaning the stove top.
David kicked me in the throat while I was trying to dress him. He ran around like chicken with its' head cut off. He dumped the hamper to open and close the lid. Open and close. Open and close. He played with the air vents on the side of the hamper because they have holes all lined up neatly in rows, just like he likes them.
And then I said it. The 7 words that I swore I would never say.
" Can't we just have a normal day?"
I said them. I said them aloud. I said them to him.
The world did not end.
I had to chuckle then, because I realized that we were having a normal day. Well, except for the explosive poop. This was a normal day.
David got up at 7ish. His father helped him down the stairs for breakfast. David turned on the TV to watch ELMO. Breakfast was the standard Cheerios on a plate and a beverage on the side. I made his lunch. My husband started his day and left for work. I cleaned David up. Helped him dress. I brushed his hair. I use two hair brushes. There is a special technique for brushing David's hair. It requires two hair brushes. While he takes one from me, I have the other one ready. I can get two swipes per brush. We alternate until his hair looks half way decent. Sometimes he'll stand still while I put a little product in his hair. He didn't today. I then hold him down to brush his teeth. He doesn't like this now. He used to like to have his teeth brushed. Now, I'm lucky if I can brush the ones that show. The school bus comes at 7:50. On a good day he will just come to me when I tell him the bus is here. If there is a segment of the ELMO tape that he really likes, he will want to stay until it's over. So we may have a struggle going to the front door that doesn't end until he sees his bus.
After school we do the chit-chat thing. Except I am the only one chitting or chatting. David will greet me with a smile when I help him from the bus. Once inside he will walk right past me to watch ELMO ( I really hate that furry red monster) He will have a snack. I continue chitting and chatting. The day continues with dinner and a bath and his day ends with bedtime.
So today was a normal day. Poop in the pockets was just an added bonus.